That Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, fans certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.

Calvin Schmidt
Calvin Schmidt

Lena is a certified personal trainer and fitness enthusiast with over a decade of experience in core strength training and wellness coaching.